Much to worry about but not upset

For once in this blog I am not going to complain or put myself down, even though somethings could be better. (WOW Double negative, Linds) anyway more or less things are ok. My exs mother is still crazy and stupid, my ex is getting better about not bring me down but he fails a lot of the time and school is actually going very well. Drama with between my classmates but other than that it's not my problem. Can't get the insurance just yet cause we don't have enough for the down payment but we will get there. Have to sit down and budget this week since now I see now much I get each check. My back though has been killing me for a week straight, it's a very dull pain and it move up and down my back each day. One minute it'll be my lower back, then up to my shoulders then down the middle. It's scaring me but right now I have to deal and work through it til I can see a doctor about it. AND MY art, I really have to sit down, take a breath and look at what I need to get done and what can wait but write down the idea, like I had planned on doing before but haven't done the first thing in this sentence. Maybe this Friday I can. Other then that though everything is okay, October is looking up, 2013 is a good year to me.

Another day in the life of me.

Not a lot to talk about but then again who am I kidding? I always have something to say or complain about. Either way I'm just human, nothing wrong with it, right? If you don't want to get hear or read it then don't.

Again another day in the life of me. Stress and bull shit. Nothing really new on that part but new stresses. Living with my Ex's loving crazy drugged up mother. OH what joy that is. More like a hell really. She is so selfish and cares for her gas eating Cadillac more then her own son who is making ends meat to get by. As am I. AND I tried the whole being civil with her. it doesn't work out very well. She talks to me like I am stupid. She is top dog and her shit don't stink. It's frustrating. THEN on top of that my EX can't time manage worth shit. COURSE that's why he is called my ex. Trying to move past all this and get by so I can just leave eventually but I must do what I must do so I will just keep my lips sealed and not say a damn word unless it interferes with me physically. On other notes my carpel hasn't gotten better doesn't help that i don't do anything for it so skipping along that, that is my fault. AND My art has gotten better so I feel good about that a least. BUT that is it for my rant going to go lay down and sleep all this stress off. Should go to the gym... OH that's right our car shit out on us. I miss Sella. ~Keno

Everything is ok

My mom is out of surgery for abnormal sist in her stomach, they scrapped some off and she'll go back in 6 months to get some more scrapped off. I didn't call her though, didn't mean to just have a lot on my plate and I felt like if I did something would of happened. BUT I apologized and all and she wished me a happy birthday. I am just happy she is ok, best thing in the world.

My mother

Is in the ER recently, for a bleeding stomach, today they ate going to scope her but I'm scared for her. I'm in FL and she's in WV. Sucks that I can't go and see her but then again I know she'll be fine. Only can how, right?

Been another while

Most of it stress but non the less better than it was up north for me. Falling for an old friend who feels the same but we can't really have a relationship at the moment sucks but what can ya do. And thanking God that he's helped me even if I didn't ask. Guess that means he really does love me even if I don't believe, yay. Again thanks. Other then that crap though I'm working out school and finding a job. Yep. Life, is defiantly what you make it.

I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach, breaking someone's heart cause I can't handle the stress of a relationship. Sucks and I knew with this one it would happen. But no, I did it anyway... Some one really does hate me. Just to a point that they want me to suffer all these emotions and feelings. I hate it. Why do I bother with it all? Why?

It's normal for you to feel thus way when some thing like thus happens... Really feel like you just crushed someone's world? Breaking some one's heart like that? No, it's fucked up...wrong and cruel.

And I hate it.

I just can't with Craigslist

Just the job posting alone are stupid and funny and sad. *sigh*

Found a someone, might be special

Not sure just yet, taking things slow with this guy but he's of course nice blah blah. Typical crap. Least he's very straight forward with me doesn't sugar shit which is a nice change. Don't think he likes my sarcasm but that's not changing sorry Heh. But we well see where it goes.

Surprising

I want to get these things done but what is stopping me from well doing them? I mostly think it's me of course. Who else is pulling my arm going 'no don't' while everyone who cares about me Says i can. Need to just get this block out of the way and relax.

So haven't posted

In awhile due to the fact that I'm busy as hell now. Started school and all. It's fun a stepping stone in the right direction type of deals. Kind of off the grid of what I want but what I want doesn't pay well, do with something interesting and actually fun, too. Wish me luck or pray which ever one I'm not picky.

Love,
Keno

Can't get any sleep

sadly and it's 1am doesn't help that I'm sick either sigh

Sick but need a job

Aww sick today what joy right? This doesn't help me at all look for a job. I could fill out things online though so that's a plus. Still don't like online applications. oh well better than nothing.

Surprisingly

Honestly I am kind of surprised people still use blogger. I mean another site is my main blog but I like this, there it nothing wrong with it. The layout is ok, and posting is pretty easy I just kind of let it slip my mind sometimes. From now on though I'll be better about posting on here.~ Keno~

I'm mobile too

Sweet right...
Yeah not really.
Oh well.

4am

It's 4 am here... why am I up? Blogging and filling out applications of course~ Also some youtube videos and other random things. What about you all?

Posting in this again?

I guess I should start posting in this blog again. May just be random thought and rants of the day though so YOU have been warned. Also don't mind my grammar, it's horrible at time. New year new me right? ~Keno